Rebound Envy (Rebound #2) Page 9
My eyes bulge a little at that. "Adam, that was flirting, not being friends. There's a really big difference. If you don't know that, then it's no wonder you can't figure out how to be friends with me."
He crosses his arms over his chest, and I try to ignore how that pulls his shirt tight across his shoulders and upper arms. "I don't want to be friends with you."
"Yes, that's been rather obvious, too." I play with my empty glass, wishing it would magically refill with liquor, like an adult version of the enchanted tables in the great hall at Hogwarts.
"It has?" When I look at him his eyebrows are climbing in surprise. "Then why did you take off last night?"
It's my turn to be confused. "Of course it's been obvious that you don't want to be friends with me. You've been treating me like shit since Jenna and Brian's engagement party. Even tonight, you almost punched out Connor for dancing with me and then dragged me over here for whatever the hell this is. Friends don't act like that." I pause, looking down at my glass again. "And angry fucking after all that isn't exactly incentive to stick around."
Adam is still and silent for a moment. Then, "Fuck." He says it quietly, almost under his breath, but I hear him. "Amy, look at me." When I keep messing with my glass he places his hand on my leg. "Please."
It's the "please" that does it. There's a note of pleading in his voice that has never been there before, so I give in and look at him. So many emotions are competing on his face that I can't quite make them all out—frustration, anger, desire?
"I'm sorry for acting like an asshole at Jenna and Brian's engagement party and afterward. And for almost punching out Connor earlier. I was angry and jealous. I don't want to be friends with you because I want to be with you. I don't want you dating other guys or dancing with other guys. I want you to date me, to dance with me, to come back to my room for the second round I intended us to have last night."
My reaction to this declaration is mixed. So many emotions bubble up inside me, fighting for dominance—confusion, frustration, hope, and disbelief. I'm overwhelmed by them all and flounder in my mind for a moment before latching onto one. I scoff. I guess disbelief is the one I'm going with first. "Adam, you had a chance to date me, to be with me, and you never called back after our second date. You were oddly formal every time I saw you after that, until the engagement party when you decided to be a giant prick. I might buy that you still have some weird hangup where I'm concerned, but I don't buy that you actually want to date me now, after all this time, and after you definitely had your chance."
He sits back in his chair, studying my face. He opens his mouth, then closes it again, scrubbing a hand over his face and running it through his hair.
I'm so done with this crazy thing between us. I guess last night got him out of my system. Or it would have if it didn't leave me craving more. But I can't keep up with this blowing hot and cold and he isn't forthcoming with any kind of reason that explains his behavior. "Goodbye, Adam."
I push my chair back and start to get up, but his hand on my arm stops me. "Please, Amy. Just give me a minute and I'll explain everything."
I stare at his hand on my arm, then his face. With another sigh, I nod and sit back in my chair again. If hearing him out is what it takes to end this, then I'll let him talk. It will all be over soon, and I can finally move on.
He takes his hand off my arm. "I need to start from the beginning. When you and Jenna first came into the bar, you and I hit it off right away. Almost as fast as Brian and Jenna. Except I was seeing someone at the time. I hesitated to break it off with her for a while, thinking that I had just developed a little crush on someone else. We'd been together for a year at that point. I think she was expecting me to propose soon. Well, I know she was. She dropped a lot of not very subtle hints, but I wasn't ready to take that step with her, especially when I was developing feelings for someone else.
"So I waited. And then I realized that if I had feelings for someone else, then maybe I should end it with her and open myself up to other possibilities. Even after I broke up with her I still waited a couple weeks before asking you out. I wanted to be sure it wasn't just a passing crush."
"Adam, it was months between when we met and when you finally asked me out. That seems like more than a passing crush to me."
Adam nods. "Me too. That's why I asked you out."
"So, that's all it took for you to get over me, huh? A couple dinners, a few kisses, and your crush was cured." I'm trying for airy indifference, but it's so heavily inflected with sarcasm that it doesn't come across at all.
Adam clenches his jaw, his eyes growing intense. "Not even close. I wanted to come inside with you that night after our second date. But I'd gotten a text from my ex while we were out. She said it was urgent and threatened to come find me if I didn't call her within a certain amount of time. I didn't want her to ruin our evening, so I went home, intending to call you the next day to schedule another date." He pauses in his story to take a sip of his wine.
"And? What happened?" I can't help prodding. I've been driving myself crazy wondering what happened for months.
"She said she was pregnant." He spits out the words, his mouth a grim line. He reaches for my hand, his eyes sincere. "I believed her, the crazy bitch. I couldn't bring you into that situation. I couldn't put that on you, since our relationship was so new. I had no intention of getting back together with her, but wanted to be there for her and for the baby, for my baby.
"When she realized that I didn't want her back, even with a baby in the mix, she admitted that she'd made it up." He's clutching my fingers in his hand, his grip so tight it almost hurts. I wiggle my fingers, and he loosens his grip immediately, giving me a small smile.
"By that time, I figured you'd moved on. I hadn't seen you in The Barrel Room for a while, so I deleted your number. I knew I'd blown my chance, especially since I just disappeared on you and then treated you like a stranger the couple times I did see you when I still thought I was going to be a dad." His eyes drop to our hands. "I thought that I might have a chance with you at the engagement party. Brian had said you were single. And then you showed up with that guy."
"Scott."
He raises his eyes to my face. "Yeah, Scott. I was jealous and feeling insecure and like he'd stolen you from me. And I acted like a complete asshole to you, and I'm sorry for that." He's silent for a moment, toying with my fingers. "After you took off last night I decided to just leave you alone, let you go. Since you just took off, I figured that your feelings were clear. But then I saw you dancing with Connor and I couldn't control myself. He's been checking you out all week, and dammit, you were with me, screaming my name last night. I couldn't handle seeing his hands on you like that." He shakes his head. "I'm sorry. I know jealousy isn't attractive, but when it comes to you I can't seem to help it."
I've been watching him throughout his whole confession, but when he raises his eyes to mine once again, I have to look away. I have no idea how to react to this. I notice that the party seems to be breaking up. People are gathering their things, the DJ is breaking down his equipment, hotel staff are starting to clear the tables so they can take them down.
"Amy?" Adam's voice brings my attention back to him. "Say something. Please."
"I don't know what to say. I …" I look around again, feeling overwhelmed and trapped. I tug my fingers out of his grip. "I have to go." I stand up. "I need to think about … everything." I make a vague gesture in his direction. "I'm sorry. I have to go."
I rush out, heading straight for the elevators, hoping he won't follow me. It's not until I'm back in my room that I realize I left my shoes behind.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
The knock on my door stops my pacing. I've been debating whether to stay the night, since I've paid for my room until tomorrow, or just take the loss and go home. At home I could take a bath, relax, and distract myself with a book and some wine. Or Netflix and some wine. I'm not sure I have the focus for reading right now.
And I'm also trying to figure out what to do with what Adam just told me. He wants me. He's wanted me all along. A crazy ex and a pretend pregnancy kept him from pursuing our relationship before. And the timing's just been completely wrong since then.
Do I want to try to see what we have? Our chemistry's been undeniable all along. Will he stop being a jealous ass if we're actually dating? Should I give this a chance?
Another knock pulls my thoughts back to the present.
Adam's standing there, his jacket back on and his tie draped around his neck, the top button of his shirt still undone. He holds out my shoes. "You left these."
I let out a breath. "Oh. Thank you." I reach for the shoes, but he doesn't let them go. I give them a little tug, and with that he steps forward into my space, pulling me into him with the shoes, and takes my mouth. His arms go around my back, and he backs me into the room and against the wall. I drop the shoes, my hands going into his hair. He's devouring me. His mouth is hot and hungry on mine, sucking my lower lip into his mouth, his tongue sliding against mine.
This feels so good. He feels so good, so right. But I can't do this. Not like this. Not with everything still between us. I tighten my grip in his hair and pull his head back. He breaks off our kiss with a stifled groan. His eyes are boring into mine, dark and hooded with desire and suppressed frustration.
He tries to go in for another kiss, but I hold him in place. "What are we doing, Adam?" My voice is a shaky whisper.
He cocks an eyebrow. "You have to ask?" I can feel his breath against my mouth, his lips so close to touching mine again.
I huff out a chuckle. "Not this, the kissing. That part's obvious. Us. What are we doing about us?"
He closes his eyes, the smile gone, replaced by the bulge of that muscle in his jaw again. He releases me and pulls away, my fingers sliding out of his hair. I feel cold and bereft without his body pressing me into the wall.
His back is to me. Stepping away from the wall, I pick up one shoe from where it fell, and extract the other from where it's wedged in the door, allowing the door to close.
Adam turns when he hears the click of the latch. A ghost of a smile plays across his lips when he sees the shoes in my hands. I drop them in the open closet space and move into the room, taking a seat on the small couch, my legs tucked to the side. Adam watches me, but remains standing, his hands shoved in his pockets.
He looks so sexy standing there in his disheveled tux, his hair mussed from my hands so recently tangled in it. I don't want to do this, push him away and make him talk to me. But I can't repeat last night, either. I need to know where I stand, where we stand, before I let him touch me again.
We're eyeing each other, not knowing where to start. Adam seems to be letting me run this show. I guess he said everything he had to say already. Now it's my turn. "So."
He stands there, staring down at me. "So."
"Can you sit down, please? You're making me nervous."
He chooses the desk chair, pulling it out and turning it to face me, resting his forearms on his knees. I'm both a little sad and a little relieved that he didn't sit on the couch next to me. I'm not going to think about either of those feelings right now, though. I need to figure this out. Tell him what I need him to hear and get a few answers. He has his blank face on again. I'm not sure what that means.
"I don't know how to be friends with you either." That's an odd way to start, but it's the first thing I can come up with.
Adam raises his eyebrows, but doesn't say anything. I plow on. "That's why I decided to avoid you, why I didn't sit at the bar anymore when I came in, and why I tried not to come in as much as possible. With Jenna and Brian, it was hard to stay away forever, but I sure as hell tried."
He's not reacting, just listening. He hasn't changed postures or facial expressions since his initial eyebrow raise.
"I drove myself crazy trying to figure out why you just dropped me like that. Jenna had no idea, and I couldn't bring myself to ask Brian, even though I'm pretty sure Jenna did."
"I made him promise not to say anything to anyone." His voice is low, breaking in when I pause for breath.
I nod. "I guess that explains that. I figured you just got tired of me, didn't want me anymore, and it was painful for me to see you and have you not flirt with me, barely acknowledge that you knew me, treating absolute strangers with more charm and politeness than you did me."
He sucks in a breath through his nose, but I don't let him say anything if that's what he's preparing to do.
"I had Jenna set me up with someone for the engagement party. Scott. I didn't want to go alone, knowing that you'd be there, treating me like a stranger again." I snort a little. "It's kinda funny. Jenna set me up with him as an ego boost for me. A hot guy to have a little fling with and then move on."
"I really don't need all the details, Amy."
I laugh louder at that. "No, that's the funny part. We dated for like two months and never had sex. He didn't want to."
Adam looks at me like I just said the craziest thing he's ever heard. "Wait, what?"
I stop laughing. "We never had sex. I tried to move things in that direction and he would always stop me."
"He turned you down?" His voice is still full of shock.
I'm getting defensive. "It's not like I threw myself at him, but, yeah. Whenever I would start trying to move things beyond just kissing, he would turn me down." My cheeks are growing warm with embarrassment.
Adam's still just staring like he can't believe what I'm saying. "What a fucking moron." He says it almost under his breath.
My embarrassment fades a little and I smile to myself. "Anyway, it didn't work out with him. He was nice, but we weren't a good fit for quite a few reasons. I tried to make it work with him, but in the end I was settling just to be with someone. But I realized that just being with someone isn't good enough. I need to be with someone who wants me. All of me. Someone who doesn't constantly give mixed signals or make me feel shitty for wanting sex." I shake my head. "There's no point in having a relationship with someone who's not on the same page, who doesn't want the same things."
Adam drops his head, looking down between his feet. "So what are you saying, Amy? Do you want me to leave? Leave you alone and not talk to you anymore?"
He's not looking at me, so I get to take him in without being observed. I've been attracted to this man from the start. The longish dark hair with the slightest amount of curl that I love to delve my hands in when he kisses me. The broad shoulders, the muscular arms and chest, ending in deft hands with tapered fingers, equally skilled at uncorking a bottle of wine as they are at teasing and arousing me. I've wondered for months what his hands would feel like, and I got the briefest taste last night.
I do still want this man. Despite everything that's happened over the last months, I don't want him to leave me alone and go back to treating me like a stranger. He looks delicious in his rumpled tux and disheveled hair. I like that I made him rumpled and disheveled. The thought of another woman somewhere, somewhen doing that to him has jealousy skittering up my spine.
"No." My voice comes out soft, almost hesitant.
He raises his eyes, uncertainty on his face.
I say it again more firmly. "No. I don't want you to leave me alone and not talk to me anymore."
The uncertainty leaves his face, but he doesn't move. "What do you want, Amy? I need you to say it." His voice is soft, but commanding.
"I want you."
At my quiet declaration, Adam stands, holding a hand out to me. I place my hand in his, unfolding my legs, allowing him to draw me up to stand with him. He pulls my body against his. Without my heels on, my head only comes up to his chin. He dips his head and kisses me. Tender and soft at first, his lips moving gently against mine. Then he opens, and I follow along, welcoming his tongue as it slides past my lips, allowing him to taste me at his leisure before tangling my tongue with his. He still tastes faintly of the wine he drank at the reception.
 
; His hands slide down my back until he's cupping my ass, pulling my pelvis tightly against him, and I can feel his erection growing against my belly. I press myself closer to him, clutching at the lapels of his jacket for leverage.
He maneuvers us around and pushes me down so I'm sitting on the bed, breaking the kiss. He strips out of his jacket and starts to unbutton his vest. His eyes are drilling into mine, darkened with arousal. "This time, I'm not going to take you in a hurry with our clothes still on. Take off your dress." He tosses the vest on the chair with his jacket and starts on the buttons on his shirt, yanking the tails out of his pants as he goes.
I reach behind my neck to undo the halter top, letting it fall to reveal the nude strapless bra underneath, my eyes never leaving Adam. He lets out a soft groan and licks his lips.
I stand, reaching behind me for the zipper at my mid-back. Once it's undone, I let the dress fall the rest of the way, so I'm standing in only my bra and a thong. I turn around, and when I bend over to pick up my dress I feel Adam's hands on my ass, a light brush at first, but turning into a firm grip, kneading my buttocks. I stand most of the way, the dress in my hands, my ass pushing back into Adam's grip. He pulls me back against him, one arm around my waist, the other hand sliding around to cup my mound before delving under the edge of my thong.
He slides his fingers over my lips. The sensation is amazing on my bare pussy. I don't normally wax, but if this is what it feels like, I might have to consider keeping it up. I let out a moan when he slides a finger inside me, pulling back out to massage my juices into my clit.
"Christ, Amy. You're so wet for me already." His breath is hot against my ear. His teeth bite down gently on the top of my ear while he fingers me. My breath is coming faster now, and my knees are starting to buckle from the pleasure, his arm around my waist my main support.
He pulls his hand from me and I whimper in displeasure.
"Ah, ah. Not yet. Be patient." Adam spins me around to kiss me once more before steering me back on the bed. When I'm lying back, spread on the bed, he breaks the kiss, pulling back from me, running one hand down my sternum to my belly while he sucks my juices off the fingers of his other hand. I could almost come just from watching that.